Journey Towards 60 Books

Read a thousand books and your words will flow like a river. -Virginia Woolf

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2020 Reading Challenge: 8 books out of 60 (13%)

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Its strange to think that I used to be such a bookworm, now I'm struggling to read. I still have my Kindle Paperwhite that goes everywhere with me, but I'm just not reading as much as I used to. As a teenager I couldn't put the book I was reading down. I was never without a book and several times had book bans put into place by my parents whenever we came to England on furlough. This was because I wasn't buying much needed clothes, I was going into charity shops and spending all my money on books. My suitcases would return to Uganda almost full of books, with barely any new clothes. When we arrived back in Uganda after two months away, the books I'd bought never lasted me more than a few months. Books in Uganda were hard to come by. They were expensive (European prices in a country that doesn't earn the same as in Europe), and the culture didn't favour reading. Its something I've always enjoyed doing.

As I sit and write this, in the early hours of the morning (I can't sleep), I can't help but contemplate on what's gone wrong. I love books with a passion, that hasn't changed. However, something in my brain seems to have changed. I was put on medication for depression during the late summer of 2018. Since then I've had my medication put up, and then, a few weeks back, changed to another type. The depression may have gone, but the lack of interest in anything and everything I used to enjoy, has been hard to deal with. I love reading, but I'm no longer interested in reading for long stints like I used to. I'll sit and look at the books I really want to read but I just can't bring myself to read them.

The government policy of "Stay Home" during this pandemic has left me with far too much time on my hands. Yes, I may be without work, without prospects or the opportunity to find something in England's current state of uncertainty. Nobody knows how long this will last for. Shops have been shut for the foreseeable future. For someone like me, who doesn't have the qualifications for anything but minimum wage work, with a brain that works in a completely different and often misunderstood way (I have dyslexia), and with a host of psychological issues (depression, anxiety, panic attacks), I'm not the first choice. I've two interviews in the last two weeks, and haven't heard anything. Was supposed to start temp work last Monday, and that got postponed. I'm stuck at home with no income and no chance, until this all blows over. In a way, this is probably the best time for me to try to get lost in my books again.

I am aware that there will be people out there, who will be reading this, who are full of suggestions and ideas on how to get a job or more qualifications. Part of me wants to ask you to stay silence and keep your suggestions to yourself, but part of me is still extremely curious about what, if anything will come through via the few forms of social media I still have running. I should say that I'm greatly enjoying the silence that the lack of Facebook brings. I wish more people would give it go.

Stay posted for more honesty from this humble writer. I hope that you will take this chance, being told to stay home, to enjoy life more and do what you always dreamed of doing. Don't let you be the one to hold yourself back from following your dreams.