Emotional Journey

Its been eleven months since I joined Slimming World and I'd hoped that I'd have hit my target weight by now. However the last few weeks (and months, if I'm brutally honest) have been so hard on me. I've been on an emotional roller coaster with the wedding planning and the moving, I've struggled focusing on staying on track with eating healthily and according to plan. I want to be healthy and I know I can get the final weight off if I put my mind to it; but that's been the problem, my mind hasn't been totally engaged. I've reverted to old habits of eating comfort food, which isn't right, because my comfort foods are cheese, Ben & Jerry's Ice cream and chocolate. I keep doing it and I keep telling myself off for it. I keep failing myself and I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it. The biggest reason, for this, is that I've dithered with processing all that's been happening in my mind and in my immediate environment. I'm not writing in my journal as much as I know I need to. I keep thinking about it but I haven't. Its been partly due to tiredness, and the fact I don't want to write before my shifts. When I'm finished working I'm too tired to bother picking up my pen and Moleskine journal.

Over the last few weeks I haven't been staying at my Slimming World group, which is a big part of joining. I've gone to get weighed and then left straight afterwards. However, last week I put on half a pound and chose to face the music and stay. It did me some good, but I'm almost scared of the scales tomorrow. I'm going to stay to group as there's another competition I've been nominated for called Miss Slinky. I didn't win the last competition and I'm not sure how much hope to have in the odds of me winning this one.

I've written before about having a gym membership. Well, I've started going again. I've been three times, after my long shifts, last week. Its been an attempt to clear my mind from the stresses of wedding planning. The gym I'm going to is usually almost completely empty when I go (usually because I go so late) but that's the joy of belonging to a gym that's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I'm also planning to go to the gym when we're away, if I get the chance, as the gym I go to has branches all across the world. Maybe this will help me get into a better mental place.