Full of Life

{WARNING: Long Read}

I've decided to sit and write down somethings that come to me as I attempt to explain about how I try to find the best version of myself. I want to be one of those ladies who are full of life and full of love for everyone, indifferent to religion, career, or sexual attraction. I don't want to be known as someone who judges others because of their orientation or beliefs, because it isn't my place to do so. I love, I don't judge. I want to write about what's in my head at the minute so I don't know how this post is going to go but we shall see how it does. It'll be as interesting to write as it'll probably end up being for you to read.

Learning to Look After Me 

One thing I've had to learn to do is that I need to love me so I can love you. Over the last few months I've found ways of relaxing after a hard day's work. I want to give everyone the attention and the good experience they deserve, as well as enjoy what I'm doing, because to be honest, I do love my job very much. If I try to give from an empty tank I just can't serve them in a way I feel they need to have. So there are a few realisations i've come to since I started working at Travelodge. The biggest of which is making sure that I get enough rest, enough down time to make sure I can still enjoy life and enjoy my job. There are a few ways for me to retain my happiness, to retain my love for life and my zest for it. I'm going to write some of the ways I relax below under the various titles below. I hope you enjoy my attempt to help you understand how I function and how I relax, both in terms of recovering from working and preparing for the next shift (sometimes I'll have two days off back to back, or more often I'll have a day off then a few days work before I have another block of shifts). 

Fabulous Foxy, My Dear Bottle Opener

Drinks At Home After Work

One of these ways is to enjoy a drink when I get home. Often I've had drinks bought for me by various people at work, which means that, even though I'm not allow to drink at work, I have something to look forwards to when I get home as I'll take the bottle of Hobgoblin (a beer brewed in England by Wychwood Brewery) home with me in my handbag. I've also been buying cans of Guinness Draught (a bold black beer, from Dublin, Ireland) from Asda due to the price. If you're wondering about the sun value, I have been counting my drinks into my syn limit before I even leave for work in the morning. So I know I can look forward to that guilt free. If anything, I don't feel the alcohol at all, and I'd say that my tolerance for the stuff has changed a lot over the last few years. Its why I need to introduce the Fantastic Mr. Fox, otherwise known as Mr. Fox or Fabulous Foxy (see the photo on the right). He's my bottle opener that always sits on my desk. I gave away my old bottle opener and needed a new one that was also an ornament or desk display. He's quiet heavy but I love him. One of my favourite purchases, in a while,  and is worth every penny I spent to get him! 

Reading

Another thing that has helped me a lot over the last few months is my Kindle Paperwhite. I've been reading a lot more recently and I'm really enjoying having my Kindle in my handbag or backpack at all times. Its an escape for me from my day to day life and into the world that hidden in the pages of the book that I'm reading. I've been writing posts about my GoodReads progress on here and aiming to have read fifty two books this year. I'm really glad that I got my Kindle last year. I've had it a little over a year now and am not planning to buy a new one any time soon. I think the decision to buy the Kindle Paperwhite was one of the best decisions I've made in quite a while, in regards to buying something. I've cut back on the number of books I'm buying though as I have quite a lot of books in my Kindle Library that needs to be read before I'll let myself buy anything more... given that the books I want to buy is slightly more expensive than I'd like to spend on a book. If you're interested in helping me get some of the books I'd like to read, the link is here, or you can use the "Want To Help?" tab above to donate some money.

Youtube/Netflix

Another thing that has really helped me has been the various documentaries and videos that I've been watching on both YouTube and on Netflix. I finally sorted out my Netflix subscription. The nice thing with Netflix is that I might be paying for it but Andy also can use it, as it has the function to have multiple profiles at no extra cost to me. So Andy can watch whatever he wants without effecting my lists.

Time With God

A great help to me over the last few months and years is the time I send with God. I'm a Christian and I really enjoy the quiet times I have with God, often over a cup of coffee. I try to have them almost daily, but I don't force myself to sit down daily and spend time with God. He understands. I often pray on my way to work, and I often sit down with my bible, when I'm on my own, and read something. I've been following various reading plans on the YouVersion Bible App and often will often read my bible plans on there. The reason that this is so far down in this article is because is the biggest constant in my life and has been for a long time.

Learning the Work Introvert Balance

Working in a bar brings out a side of me that I never thought I had. I'm an introvert but I also love people and having good conversations with them. I can turn on the extrovert in me, but I need time alone with myself every day to recharge and prepare myself for the day ahead. It takes quite a bit of energy to be with people and talk to them. I don't recharge around them, like members of my family. If I don't get the chance to be alone, to be with myself, then I can crash and burn rather fast.

This is something I've learned from years and years of working with people, both in my YWAM* days and the various jobs I've had since then. When I was in YWAM one of the biggest things that I've realised is that people don't always understand how I work. I have lived with latinos who recharge when with other people, and didn't get why I would disappear up to my bed for hours, or why I'd spend my entire day off wondering around London, without much of a reason to be out, except for the fact I needed to get away from the people I lived with. I did love those amazing people, but I needed to make sure I put myself first. I still am learning to put myself and my health first. Its one of the biggest things I've learned, since being put on antidepressants. They've helped so much and I'm in a much better place than I have been in months and that's because of the meds, and my journaling. I'm gonna try to spend more time journaling at the moment as I haven't done enough journaling over the last few weeks.

Conclusion

So I didn't realise that this post would go down this road, but in a way I'm glad that it has. I want to be honest with you about how I'm doing. I'm going to try to write these posts more regularly. I don't want to bury my head in the sand and hide how I'm doing from the world. If there's one thing I would like to be, it is being honest and full of life. I used to be known as a happy child with a big smile and a lot of laughter. That's one thing that I don't want to loose, ever. So I'm aiming to keep myself in a good mental place so I can retain that happiness. I want to

Until next time. X

*Youth With A Mission