Making My Way Through Life

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with caution. - JK Rowling

A bench at Crawley's Memorial Garden

I know I've been silent over the last week or so. Things have been quite busy. There's been drama at work, which I won't write about here, but its made life rather interesting. Its just been people thinking they're in a position they aren't actually in. Its made me really think about a few things. I'll write about this all one day when its all blown over and there isn't any backlash to worry about. I have written it all down in detail in my current journal as I need to have a safe place to vent and get all my angry emotions out of my system, and into a safe place where I know won't be pried into by anyone, because I know people won't think of looking in my current Moleskine notebook that is acting as my journal. Once this has all blown over and things have become peaceful, then maybe I'll write about what's happened, but until then, I'll keep my peace. 

Crawley's Memorial Garden

Andy and I are doing well, in most regards. We're still learning the ropes of married life and adjusting to the changes that come with being married, but we're enjoying it. The biggest thing that I've been really enjoying is the companionship of living with the man I love and whom I've come to see as my best friend. There's always someone to talk to. We're both working hard and are dreaming of the future. We're both discussing our plans and hopes for the future. However, I'll write more on that when things have taken more shape that what they are now. 

A rainbow over Crawley. It wasn't a full rainbow but you can see a shimmer of a second rainbow above this one! I love rainbows!

What with summer on the way, and the weather finally getting warmer. I'm rarely wearing my jacket now during the day, and have taken to wearing sweaters or just a t-shirt whenever I need to head out doors. Over the last few days I've taken to carrying my jacket in one hand, as its too warm to wear during the day but often its quite chilly after I've finished my shift at 11pm. We're all hoping that the weather keeps improving as I'm really looking forwards to the warmth of a British summer, but as with all things to do with the British summer, we might have a hot Indian summer, but we might end up having a wet and rainy few months ahead. A lot of people probably know that the English love to talk about the weather. This is a pretty safe topic for you if you aren't sure what else to talk about with someone who've just met.  its also because English weather is extremely unpredictable. We've been known to have all four seasons in one day; rain, hail, snow, sun and wind. The unpredictability of the weather makes some rather interesting topic of discussions, with a lot of different people, both in Crawley and at Travelodge's bar, with the holiday makers who are heading off to various parts of the world. That's the joy of working in a bar that's an airport hotel. I do love my job and all the drama that comes with it.

The Punch Bowl, one of the oldest buildings on Crawley's Historic High Street

With all the stress and stuff at work I've taken to journalling a lot more to help me cope with all that's been happening over the last few weeks. I've been trying to focus on improving on my own mental health to help myself do the best I can do in regards to work. I'm someone who has been fighting off issues that have caused a lot of issues inside my head. If I don't write regularly, I've discovered that I tend to get lost inside my head. The amount of information that gets trapped in my mind causes me to struggle putting it to one side and focusing on my work, both at home and at work. The more I write, the easier it is for me to focus. My journals are like storage drives. I'll download the mess in my head that I can't delete into my journals, which will get put into a special place once full (a shoe box hidden somewhere in the flat). As some of you know, I'll write about everything that happens to me. Both the good and the bad. So if someone's nasty to me, I'll write it in my journal in an attempt to help me forgive the person for their actions. If someone's nice to me, I'll write about how awesome they are. It's something that will be turned into a legacy, either as a collection of journals (published as they are) or I'll use them to write a detailed autobiography. Either way I'm going to fill in as much of the details about everything that happens to me. I want to be remembered, and, at the age of 11 when I first started writing, I never thought that my journals will probably become that way I'll be remembered. I know I've lived an unusual life, not everyone has had the same opportunity to spend their formative years in Uganda, and then travel as much as I have. It's something that has taken quite a quite for me to come to accept that my childhood is something that I shouldn't take for granted, or wish that I'd had a typical British or Dutch upbringing. I'm grateful for the unique childhood that I had. I'm grateful for the adventures I've had during the years of travel with Youth With A Mission. I'm grateful that I have a home now and that I can settle down in such a nice place, with an amazing husband!