Silver Lining

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman

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So many things have changed since I last wrote. So many scary things have happened that have forced me to throw myself onto God 100%. Whilst I'm still trying to make sense of these changes, I know that God is walking with me through this dark place, lighting the way for me. His love for me will never run out; I know that Andy's love for me won't either. These constants keep me going and there are so many times I've woken up in the morning and I've been flooded with assurance of love. I know that no matter what the day brings, God has a plan for me. This certainty has given me so much comfort of the last few weeks. It's been so difficult sometimes, but I have never had to question that deep peace inside that tells me that God hasn't left me. A phrase my father loves to say often comes back to me "There's no testimony without a test." I'm being tested at the moment and one day I'll be able to write the testimony on here, I'm just not there yet.

I'm in the process of changing my medication. The antidepressant I've been on for the last year and a half has been causing some rather unpleasant side effects, chief among them being insomnia and nightmares/extremely vivid dreams. Its not nice waking up being absolutely convinced that you broke your phone screen only to check your phone to realize that it was just a dream and your phone's screen is still in one piece. These side effects have only gotten worse since I had the dosage upped last July. I'm hoping that the new medication that I've been put on won't cause such realistic dreams. Frustratingly a rather negative side effect for being on any sort of antidepressant medication is weight gain. Thus why I haven't written about my weight loss journey in months. I was putting weight on and I lost hope I'd shake it. Thankfully I've found it in me to restart things in tomorrow morning. So we'll see how that goes.

I'm in the library now, using a computer, and my time's gonna run out soon, so need to make a move. I'll write again soon!

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