The Subtle Art to Staying Sane - Part 1

The world around me completely silent. I can hear the wind blowing through the nearby windows. Occasionally a car passes by. Even rarer are the distant sounds of a train passing or a plane coming in to land (reverse thrust is loud, and only used during landing). We've been ordered to stay in doors, by the government, with strict rules in place about going out, what reasons that would validate any outings.

Being forced to stay home has forced me to try and keep myself busy. It isn't easy as I'm someone who loves to go out and do things, especially with trying to combat my unemployment. In the past, I've found jobs by wondering through Crawley looking for any signs that were hanging in the shops windows, to which I would promptly go into and give the manager my CV. I would also spend time in the library, writing in my journal or on here. This lockdown has resulted in everywhere that isn't essential are closed (under government instruction). Any exertions are only permitted on the condition that they are for necessary shopping (food, medication, etc) or to exercise with people from the same household. We aren't allowed to gather with people we don't live with. This has meant that job hunting can that there are no face to face interviews. For some reason, there still is no news of the ones I did have; even to say that they have had to suspend any decisions. Bad news is better than no news. I feel like my whole world is on hold, but time hasn't stopped. I've been going through my mind again and again, trying to think of ways I can be creative.

I know that better days to come, the sun is gonna shine on me again. I'll be able to look back on this troubled time and say that I was glad to go through this. In a way, I've started saying it to myself already. I know that sounds ridiculous. Sometimes God takes things away, allows us to go through difficult times, to test us, to see where we stand. Its easy to say "God, bless your name" when all is right with the world, but its when everything is going wrong, when it really counts. Through the tears, through the hardship, the uncertainty and overwhelming anxiety I choose to say, "Lord, I bless your name." I choose to throw everything down at the cross, and let God, who is holds all of this in his hands, guide me. He will open the way for me in regards to our future and my finding work. Every day that goes past the pressure for me to find something, anything, goes up.

Still nothing has come of the two jobs I had interviews for a few weeks back. Since I haven't heard back from either (its been nearly two weeks since the second one), I've ruled them both off as having not got the job. If I had gotten either of them, I would have already had an answer from them to let me know I got the job. So I'll keep looking for work; I'm trying to remain hopeful that I will find something, and soon.