Trying To Smile; A Post On Depression

If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. - Dolly Parton.

The hardest thing for me to do right now is to keep smiling. I used to be such a smiley person. That's what so many people who knew me growing up would say about me. In a way, I feel like I've lost my spark. Yes, the medication I'm on really does wonders by keeping me from falling into this big, dark hole inside my head. Three weeks ago I started on a new type of anti-depressant and it does feel like they're working wonders. I'm not struggling inside myself as much as I did before. I know that I'm not the only one suffering with depression. So many people are, yet so few of them are feel comfortable talking about it. This includes me.

It's very difficult to write about how I feel mentally and how I'm doing with it all. This is down to the fact that there's a lot of stigma surrounding depression, even today with so many people suffering with it in some form or other. There's always those people who seem to think that depression can be thought away, and that you can choose not to have it. To have to defend yourself and fight of the attacks of disbelievers can cause havoc on your self esteem, especially if you already have pretty low self esteem. It takes a lot to ignore the comments and the suggestions. This is the biggest reason I keep a journal. It gives me that safe place to vent about what people have said about my depression, amongst other things, and what they would do if they had it. Worst thing I've had suggested recently is to get myself sectioned (taken to a locked ward in a special hospital). My depression isn't that bad; I haven't had a panic attack in ages. I've just recently been able to start managing it better, if there is such a thing. All I need is support and love, acceptance and understanding.